So second year…
Well I am not a huge fan of the end of year journal when it doesn’t seem like the end of the year yet. However, a lot has passed since the beginning of the year. I am tired and more worn out and frustrated than last year; but step 1 is 3.3 weeks away so I guess that is to be expected. I had a harder time this year balancing school and life, but I think the workload has also been higher. If I had to do the year over, I think I would have done some things differently, but not dramatically. I am excited that this is the end of classroom-based learning, probably for the rest of my life. However, I will miss the flexibility and independence that it has allowed.
My challenge now is to keep motivated until Step 1 of the medical boards. I am over it emotionally, but I know it is important. My mentor helped when he reminded me that I could just study the stuff I want to learn more about, and while it might not be the best for my score, it would be fine. [At this point in my study schedule.] We have spent so long talking about what we have to learn that it was really good to hear him say that. It was a good reminder that I am here because I want to learn medicine and to take care of people, not just to take tests.
I am looking forward to being able to focus on clinical skills next year, and applying all of the pathology that we have been learning. I have moments of clarity now when I hear a chief complaint and I can grasp a differential diagnosis, without looking it up, and can ask all the right questions, do the right set of physical exam (I think). I am looking forward to that feeling becoming more and more common. It all makes more sense when that happens.
As for my new year goals, I got my A1C blood draw today so we’ll see how that went. I am still married although lately I think it is somewhat by default because we are not spending much time together. I am very lucky for the support and patience of my husband. I will have a few weeks off before third year to spend with him and also with myself. I am hoping to recharge and relax so I can start third year fresh and excited. Thinking about how to do that is going to be a very different from how I have been and at this very moment seems tiring. Ironic, I know.